The aggressive chemo did nothing but make Jim sicker. He was given 10 units of blood and then because of the chemo he had to have dialysis. We both knew the end was near but we didn’t like to talk about it. Jim must have told me a dozen or more times how very much he appreciated my taking care of him.
I would always reply by asking him if our roles were reversed would he take care of me. Of course, was always his answer, It was hard but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Jim was my life companion and the thought of losing him was terrifying for me.
We spent the next three weeks in and out of the hospital and finally the last visit to see his oncologist.
I am quoting an excerpt from my WLS blog dated 21 November 2006:
“This will be my last post for awhile as I have many things to get done. The oncologist told Jim today that he could do nothing more for him. We have been referred to a specialist in Chicago at Rush Hospital that deals in clinical trial type cancer meds. This appt is Nov 30th. This is our last hope. The doctor told us today that as it stands now there is about 2 months left to us. Very hard news for us to take during the holiday season. I feel very grateful to have had Jim for 51 years (this Dec 2nd). I am asking if each of you will remember Jim in your prayers and ask God to help us to be strong.” Tomorrow our trip to Rush Hospital. beth
I can only imagine how awful that was for both of you. You are a good writer. you make it feel so real.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. Makes me relive losing my dad. My blog friend, Moannie, is dying from cancer now. She made the decision to have no more treatment. Her blog is The View From This End. http://theviewfromthisend.blogspot.com/2012/08/now-that-wasnt-so-hard-was-it.html
ReplyDeleteIt's as hard to read her words about cancer and making the decision for no more treatment as it was to watch my own father die. Anyone who goes through cancer, either themselves or with a loved one, is very brave, in my opinion. You were very kind to tend to you husband, as many would put their loved one in a nursing home. I admire you for that.
My heart breaks for you to be sharing this and feeling it all again, but love has not left you and Jim is smiling at you always HUGS & prayers Beth
ReplyDeleteHi Beth,
ReplyDeleteYes it must be painful for you to write this blog and relive the events, but pray God's healing will come to you through it.
I have had past and current experience of cancer in my family, it is a horrible disease.
Hugs Nita.
This was such a difficult journey for you and Jim, Beth. Very hard news to hear, especially when it came at holiday time.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Nellie
I remember each of the blogs you have quoted here. It was so hard to read never mind the pain and sorrow you suffered going through it. But reading and being with you in spirit was what I could do and I did then and now.
ReplyDelete