Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Holding on tight…

to this life.  Some days it is harder than others.  Some days I think longingly of days gone by; happy times with Jim and watching my children grow.  However the sheer joy of being alive is always with me.

The doctor visits and tests at times seem more than I can bear.  I am a fighter and so I deal with it.  I am always grateful to see another day.

It has been almost one year since I started using the C-pap mask.  I have to see the pulmonary doctor in March.  Medicare and Health Alliance together have paid for most of the cost of it.  I guess I am sleeping better.  At least I was told that I would.  I still have sleepless nights occasionally if I go to bed with some worrying thing on my mind.

“No one longs to live more than someone growing old.”

~ Sophocles ~


  1. Hi Beth.

    Yes worrying thoughts sometimes give me sleepless nights. But I am fortunate that most nights, I sleep well. A sudden change in temp from cold to hot, can also wake me and make me fling open the window.

    However I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to wear one of these masks, but if it helps you sleep, then I guess it is worth it.

    Hugs Nita

  2. I dont know how old you are, but I am 71, and I have those nights when I dont sleep. Jim has used a cpap mask for years now and without it, he definitely cant sleep, but we are thankful that with it, he does. Hope you can find some level ground for sleep and be happy for days to come.

  3. Ah Beth, sometimes I wonder how much time I have and what I still want to do. But life at almost 82 has slowed me down a lot. Sometimes I sleep well with my C-Pap but some nights I don't but I know I can't sleep without it. Sometimes I try to fall asleep on the sofa downstairs without it and I will jerk awake in short order.

    I sympathize with you and wish you well. BGB

  4. Sleepless nights seem to come more often the older we get. Doctors visits can be trying even though necessary. I don't have to deal with one of those machines but if they help you I'm glad you have it.

    Always in my prayers. Hugs

  5. Yes sleepless nights are more often for me now too.. I know how you feel.. Hope it's gets better for you. Blessings

  6. Just to know your here with us, makes me So Happy.... I have my up and down days and try to keep postive. My son and girls are my life line along with grandkids... , As I had wanted to die, after he passed. Be 4 yrs this coming September 11. I just feel so Blessed we made it to our 53 years, he held on and passed as you know 3 days after..Much Love and good memories of our Windows Live Days.. take care with Big - Hugs from Facebook....

  7. Ommited my name, Deanie, praying for you as you travel through lifes opstacles as I... We are strong and will make it through..Bless you....

  8. Always, Beth, i have you in my prayers. Hugs, Nellie

  9. Hugs and prayers Beth. You are sounding a little down today. We need to be done with this crummy winter weather and we'll perk up again.

  10. Sis sending my prayers for your health and happiness.. I know the nights are sooo long as I have been up many of them also. We should have a club so we can always chat with each other the long nights we are up..take care of yourself you are a treasure to us all.. XOXO

  11. I think this time of year Beth makes you feel a little low, cold . I woke early this morning and I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with those machines. Take care Hope we have a lovely Spring and Summer.
    Hugs Sheila x

  12. Good Morning Beth, tonight when you go to bed and those worries start to come, remember this verse.
    Psalms 2:12 "I am blessed because I seek refuge and put my trust in the Lord". Remember that those worries are not from Him, He wants to be there to hold you in His arms and give you a peaceful nights sleep. He is our comfort :)
    You are a sweetheart and we all love you.
    Have a fantastic day and tonight when your head hits the pillow, know that I'm praying for you to have a sweet dream.
    Your blogging sister, Connie :)

  13. Hugs Beth ~ hoping you have a nice weekend full of sunshine :)

  14. I have had my CPAP for about a year now. I keep thinking that I don't really need it then I try to sleep without it and I am gasping for breath. When I went to the sleep clinic I was diagnosed as waking up on average every 45 seconds as well as something like restless legs where I kick in my sleep. I say not that you could not yank my CPAP machine out of my cold dead hands. I was really lucky to have mine paid for by insurance because I never would have been able to pay for it on my own.

  15. Sleepless nights are something that I have not yet experienced, but sometimes the eyes fly open at 4 in the morning and then there is no more sleep.
    That is the time I sit on the computer..... no point in lying there awake thinking of all the negative points.


I am happy that you visited me and I would love a comment from you. I mean for this blog to be taken seriously and your input will be greatly appreciated.