Friday, August 10, 2012

One day at a time…

Actually after Jim was gone it was more like one minute at a time.  I cried a lot, got out of bed each morning,  went through each day in a daze.

I had friends that rallied around me but my family was scattered, my daughter 100 miles away in one direction and my son 125 miles away in another direction. My one remaining sister was in WV and my one remaining brother was in living close to St. Louis.  I was alone.

I had Sandi and Rex next door, my dear friend Jo across the street on the corner who tried to look out for me.  My friend Chris was in the nursing home by this time.  Annie and Bill (Jim’s best friend) lived just down the street.

It seemed like the winter lasted forever with one snow after another that first few months alone.  Neighbors that I barely knew across the side street from me  were seeing that my long driveway was plowed.

Sandi was finding a reason to stop by each day on her lunch hour just to see how I was.  beth


  1. Losing a loved one is lonely and hard. I saw that when my died about 12 years before my mother. I don't know what I would do without my husband, but one day one of us will go and chances are we won't go together. It would be really hard to lose him. I'm glad to hear that you had friends and neighbors who looked out for you. I know that you are dealing with your challenges day by day. I hope that writing your blogs is theraputic. Sometimes it helps to get feelings out and written down. Prayers from Arizona.

  2. I can't imagine living without my Jim after 59 years of marriage, and 60 years of caring. But it has to happen eventually that one of us leave this plane first. I can only imagine how hard this would be. (I am still missing my parents and that is completely different). My sympathy goes out to anyone who has suffered this kind of loss. Hugs and prayers.

  3. My heart breaks to think of the loneliness you feel from your lost of your beloved Jim. Sometimes even when we have people around us we still can't get pass that ache, I wish for you to keep writing and sharing because life is still holding a purpose for you to enjoy it, just differently now. Sending you a healing prayer with lots of love and HUGS!!!

  4. Hi Beth,

    I agree with the others that probably writing all this down, will help promote healing.

    Hugs Nita

  5. You sound exactly like my mom when my dad died. My mom probably wished I lived 120 miles away instead of in the same town because I am not proud to say, I wouldn't allow her to grieve as much as she wanted. I was afraid she would grieve herself to death, and I couldn't stand to lose both of I kept telling her she was only allowed one good cry a day....and when she tried to talk about him, she could only talk about him for a few minutes....then onto other things...because she was alive and I wanted her to realize she had to keep going. As time has passed, my heart has softened and we both cry now together sometimes....but I still don't want her to cry a lot or dwell on him for long because I need her to be strong....because without her, I would be lost.

    I hope you are feeling stronger now as far as the loss of Jim....though nothing will ever take away the pain, maybe good memories can fill up the empty space so there is less room for pain. Hugs.

  6. Yes, dear heart. I remember too. As much as I am able for when you were able to try to share these devastating sad times with us. Love you.


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